I feel fucking sick to my stomach with anxiety and utter repulsion. i want to break some shit

I need an outlet to express how good I’m feeling lately. I am so proud of myself for everything I have accomplished. I feel empowered and happy for the first time in years. I am discovering more about myself every day and have let go of self destructive habits. I am eating again and I’m so excited for my life; I’ve never been this excited. I am realizing I am so much stronger than I ever considered myself to be. I have so much going for me. I am intelligent, I have a kick ass English degree, I am living in a great place at a great time, I am a great poet, people like me, I have the world’s most supportive partner and in a few weeks I am going to finally look like me. Years ago I never would have thought I’d be this happy and the best part: I have no one to thank for my happiness other than myself. 

well…. just spent the past 45 minutes crying to a social worker in her office. that was fun. 

I am so excited because I am about to start memoir writing. After I read Not That Kind of Girl, I was thinking that i could write like that. I haven’t written creatively in any genre other than poetry in quite a while… at least a year a half.